Where does she get those God-awful jumpers? And are they mixed natural and synthetic fibers?

Today's Slightly Altered Reality is brought to you courtesy of two lemon drops from Cheesecake Factory.  

Saw on MSNBC that the "Oath Keepers" are providing a "security detail" to Kim Davis.  For once, I'm not sure who to cheer for.  There has to be some overlap -- possibly significant -- between the #BlueLivesMatter crowd and the Oath Keepers crowd, so if shots are fired, I fully expect cognitive dissonance and its concominant idiocy to make the Internet a hatefully entertaining place for a few days.  

Kim Davis ... it's tough for me to fathom what's going on in her head.  I do believe she's perfectly sincere in her beliefs, and she does display the zeal of the recently converted.  That she doesn't understand the role she is expected to play in the government baffles me.  If her faith is that strong, and she leaves her job in order to live her faith more completely, won't God provide for His faithful servant?  Or maybe she thinks God is too parsimonious to pony up the $80k/year she's making, possibly relegating her to the $13k/year median income of the county where she lives?  Maybe her flavor of fundamentalist protestantism is something akin to Prosperity Gospel?  I really don't know.  

And though I can't appearance shame in good conscience, girlfriend and her husband both need a visit with Trinny and Suzannah.  (Is that show still on the air?)

(In other news, just deleted several paragraphs that revealed secrets not mine to reveal.  Not about Kim Davis, who seems to have no secrets.)

Some other random thoughts I don't have the time to expound upon properly:  

1.  I wish there were an Arbys closer to Boston.  I could murder a roast beef sandwich, and it would be a damn sight better than this overpriced and heaping pile of food Cheesecake Factory offers.

2.  I wish this software on the iPad let me properly format a numerical list.

3.  I really am a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.  I hope my coworkers don't notice when I stagger in to work.  (Or that they understand that certain of them, who share a name with a common bird, make showing up slightly tipsy a much more appealing option than stone cold sobriety.)

What the hell was I thinking?

The idea for this — the name "Slightly Altered Reality" — occurred to me while not experiencing altered reality.

At least, not very altered.  A few puffs of a certain herb might be involved.

This may be brilliant.  Your mileage may vary.  The problem is that these brilliant ideas never seem so bright on calm, sober reflection.  What makes me laugh now might not be funny or entertaining later.  I could be the Carrot Top of the Internet.  (Now there is a repulsive thought.)

I even worked out that, should I be too lazy or otherwise disinclined to go all the way into my office to use the computer, I can blog right from my phone if I want to, or my iPad if I feel like sparing my eyesight.  Perfect for the baked blogger with more technology than sense!

Meanwhile, I've become so preoccupied with organizing this entry that any previous brilliance seems to have left the premises.  A possibly-brilliant title as basis for a blog, with no thought to content, does come across as utterly ridiculous.  I'd claim this was unusual, except I once wrote an entire book (The Redneck White Wedding Blues) based solely on the title, with no help from anything more mood altering than a bacon sandwich and a Dr Pepper.  (Side note:  It was a damned good rough draft in the end, so the idea may occasionally have merit.)

Meanwhile, some random thoughts, since the anal-compulsive me insists that things must be organized in some vague manner:

1. There is only one letter's difference between "baked" and "naked," but they don't rhyme.  
2. For the record, I'm fully clothed.
3. The cat loves hanging out with me when I've smoked.  (Or vaped, rather; smoking makes me cough.)
4. I hope I remember this the next time I'm experiencing a slightly altered reality.  (See what I did there?)